I like to have a plan for just about everything. Chase and I had a discussion about a year ago when we found out Lanee’ was expecting. We got on the topic of finding out the sex of the baby before it’s born. I state what I thought was the obvious. “Of COURSE, I would want to find out! You’d have to be crazy not to want to. If I have the ability to know something I’m going to know.” Chase really surprised me when he said that he actually wouldn’t want to know. He would rather wait and find out. (Chase, who hates surprises said this.) I just couldn’t comprehend this!
Our devotion last night was about Expecting the Unexpected. It was a huge slap in the face to me (which I have found that just about every time I read the Bible or a devotional book or go to church period, I get slapped in the face for my ignorance.)
Chase is not a worrier, whereas I worry about E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. While he would be perfectly happy not finding out the gender, I would be constantly thinking “what about the nursery? The name? The clothes? The toys? The colors? The blah, blah, blah!!!!!”
NOTE: **No, we are NOT having a baby. This is just the only analogy I can think of.
This is the case for just about everything though. Chase tried to surprise me once while we were dating. And while I LOVE surprises, I hate knowing about surprises in advance when I can’t figure them out. He told me he was taking me somewhere but wouldn’t tell me where. Unfortunately he told me this BEFORE I had gotten ready. So what do I do? I spend the next 30 minutes on the phone with him, mad because he won’t give me more details. Did he not understand?? I had to have some idea of where we were going so I would know how to dress! Would we be outside? Would it be fancy? Would a t-shirt be okay? Would flip-flops be inappropriate? Do I need to wash my hair? Would a ponytail be too casual? I think my final words were “Chase Robert you just don’t understand anything!! UHH!!”
Seriously. It was bad.
Why can’t I just go along with the flow in life? Why can’t I be spontaneous?
Why can’t I just wait and see what God has to give me and allow Him to be spontaneous?
I get so frustrated when things happen that weren’t part of “the plan,” or should I say “MY plan.” I only like to be surprised when the unexpected thing fits into my plan.
Take yesterday for instance. A new lady at work moved into our department and I was asked to train her. I got told this at about 9:00 and was expected to start training her immediately.
So what did I do? I took a detour to my mom’s desk to gripe about it, then went and went to start training. That was not part if my plan for Monday, but instead of just accepting the change in pace, I instantly became discontented because I didn’t plan on it. And it turns out, that I actually don't mind training her. It's actually a nice change compared to sitting at my desk for 8 hours a day.
Unfortunately I don’t have an example of where I have conquered this problem yet, but I’m working on it.
Sorry to ramble…this was just on my mind.